an imperfect world chasing perfection
To invest is to risk loss. To commit is to risk violation of the agreed upon commitment, by either party. To attempt is to know failure. To hope is to open oneself up to the prospect of disappointment.
Modern society is becoming increasingly plagued with superficial desires: the sublime nose, the absence of a wrinkle, the optimal influencer job that generates serious cash and requires the lowest effort possible, the seemingly picturesque family life, the artificially sculpted body, even the antidote to the receding hairline. The path to cosmetic “perfection” has never been clearer. Add to that the dirty acronym: AI. To echo Ethan Hawke’s point, AI-authored art can be “perfect” but by what standards? Certainly not by the standards of what it means to make good art.
And in addition to the plague of artificial physicality and intelligence, our expectation of relationships grows exponentially more warped as each day passes, no thanks to the online epidemic. Human beings have other human beings non-stop screaming at them, and the saddest part is that they do nothing to stop it: they keep the screen on. Every polarizing movement is trying to move its viewer closer to its side. Loosely accurate TikTok headlines that have a good chance of having gone viral as part of the “manosphere” and “i hate men” phenomena:
“He should always pay on the first date”
“Women are only going for the 20% of men”
“Why you shouldn’t text him first”
“Women are for cooking and cleaning”
“My man got me a Chanel bag” and all the comments: “BARE MINIMUM”
“Women only care about money, status, looks, and height”
“Why he needs to be 6 foot and above”
“She needs to be skinny”
Let’s pause for a second. Before we get to all that, you just met; how about you talk to this other entity without imposing any preconceived notions. Perhaps just get to know them... As you do so, ask yourself:
Are they are kind?
Does their personality mesh well with yours?
Are you attracted to them?
Do they want the same things that you do?
Do they have a similar outlook on life?
Maybe I’m going crazy here, but I feel like these were some of the questions being asked at least over the past century. Where did we lose the plot?
Perhaps we lost the plot after continuous rigorous conditioning brought to us by none other than the device in our hand and high-speed internet. How have we so terribly managed to disconnect from our reality? Admittedly at times, it feels impossible to disconnect from the constant stream of screams hurled at you or even more subtle conditioning.
After all, this conditioning also gives us a free pass to show off: how perfect our partner is, how wrinkle-free our foreheads are when we make a face, how impossibly toned our abs are, how smart we sound, how fit we are, how great our relationship with our mother is, how beautiful our home looks, etc.
We are being trained to seek perfection, to seek the ideal agreement, encounter, friendship. So much so that we forget that what is beautiful is never received so readily and without great effort. Whether it’s a roommate search, a first date, a job, a city to live in, we are all craving the perfect scenario. It is almost like compromise does not exist. Mom angers you, cut her off, she’s a “narcissist and affecting your mental health,” right? Husband angers you, “ugh, he doesn’t make enough money anyway.” Friend can’t pick up the phone, “she’s such a fake friend,” she certainly doesn’t have her own trials and tribulations or anything.
People fawn over the old and grey couple holding hands whose wrinkles are visual proof of their enduring love. But the modern person would, first and foremost, shudder at the sight of wrinkles, and then go on to state that the couple stood the test of time simply because they were perfect for each other. Certainly not because they had to meet each other halfway God knows how many times.
Does modern compromise exist? Always one foot out the door, the other ready to come forward at the slightest inconvenience. One foot out the door because we believe it will be easy to connect with and share similar values and love every person we meet. How exhilarating it is when one realizes true connection only happens with few people in their lifetime.
One would think the most insufferable thing about being human is our inability to ever be satisfied. That is, until one realized dissatisfaction is a choice. Perfection is subjective. Perfection exists, but each of us is responsible for defining our perfect and trying to adjust that definition to as realistic of a place as we can get it to. Our autonomy in dictating our perfection is perhaps our only form of control over our lives.
